When you ask someone what they want in life, the two things that turn up definitely in their bucket list is being successful and happy. But, did you ever wonder, in which order? Does success follow happiness or happiness follow success?
Since childhood, you have been conditioned to think that if you work hard, you become successful and eventually, you will become happy! Parents train their kids to think and breathe success.. A child’s mind is molded to think that only with success he /she is going to find happiness. So, the race is on early in life. It starts with scoring well in school to bagging a seat in a premier college and lastly to pursue higher studies abroad! Well, does that end their journey? Do they become happy? Oh! you are so wrong! the journey just begins now.
You will postpone all unnecessary tasks such as taking that dream vacation with family, or spending time with close friends and family at a wedding or a stroll in the beach with your spouse, and will have no other thing to do but to work long hours at work until you get that promotion, your dream career, car, house, spouse, children, wealth, maybe a second PhD and many more. And every time you achieve a milestone, you will have hundreds more waiting in line. Mentally you tell yourself that success is just round the corner and happiness is little further than that.
So, the million dollar question is when will you find happiness in life? Is it when you retire ? or Is it when death is knocking at your door?
Many Hindu saints, new age gurus and recently, the science of positive psychology state that the secret to success is to BE happy first. If you are happy and live life with a positive attitude, success is sure to follow.
Well, you might be scratching your head musing, are successful people happy or happy people successful? Well, maybe examples will help.
Many of you I am sure travel frequently for business. The very first trip would have been the most exciting right? A chance in a lifetime to see new places, people, and culture. Oh! how fortunate that that next door neighbor’s son got to go traveling all around the world! The family love it and brag about all the gifts they got. Soon, travel becomes a routine or rather a chore. You miss being with family and home cooked meals. You usually eat all alone in the hotel restaurant and basically exist and don’t live. Spouses soon stop calling you and you lose that magic you shared once with each other. As a parent, you miss the first words or the first walk of your baby, miss playing games with your toddler, and your heart breaks when your child looks at you as a stranger. You miss birthdays, family get together and your son no longer expects you to take interest in any of his activities. You start loosing weight, get frequent panic attacks. are always short tempered and like solitude. Your doctors don’t seem to understand what is the problem with you no matter how much you spend on tests. Well, you surely climbed the ladder in your company and have the dream job of Head of sales. But, are you happy?
Studying abroad is something every student dreams about. Parents sometimes take huge loans to support your education just to see you successful. Initially, you keep in touch with them on daily basis and soon it becomes a weekly affair. Soon you are too busy and call them only during festivals or birthdays. You were to return back but the opportunities back home are not so great so you wait for the right time to return that never comes. Soon, you have a family, a successful career and don’t intend to return back at all. You don’t have time for your children or spouse and parents are too old to migrate so they die in an old age home feeling lonely. For half a century, you worked hard, accepted a alien nation as your own, and have acquired wealth and success. But are you happy?
When was the last time you said yes to your child when she asked you to play with her outside? Well you had that important report to send to your boss.
When was the last time you picked up your mother’s call or called her to just say hello? Oh well, you were in a meeting and forgot to call her back. Anyway, all that she does is ask about your health.
When was the last time you said “I love you” to your spouse ? Oh well, it is understood isn’t it after living with a person for so long? When was the last time you called your team to say how wonderful they are? Oh well, where is the time for such niceties, when there are milestones to be met.
Success and wealth can buy many things in life, but not relationships and people you love when you need them the most. In trying times, the most valuable assets are family and friends who care about you and want you to be happy. Steve Jobs, the inventor of iPhone discovered the secret to happiness when he was diagnosed with cancer and regretted spending time away from family when death was knocking at his door.
Take that vacation you dreamed about, count your blessings and spend time with family now. Your baby girl is not going to play or ask for a bed time story when she is a teenager. Your parents are not getting younger by the day. Your spouse married you and not your job.
Learn to enjoy your life in the present and don’t worry about the past or the future. Do things that you love, and be happy with the little moments of joy you experience on daily basis. Be content and happy with all that you have right now. Soon you will see that abundance and success are not far away!